Little life-it’s enough.

I recently watched a movie called Hidden Figures.  Well, actually, I drafted this on 3/2/18, so it was around then. A year and a half ago is recent when you’re in your sixties. And you never know what you’ll find when you attempt to clean off your desk.  Hidden Figures is about three African American women who had instrumental roles in NASA during the cold war space race with Russia.  It was inspiring.  It is nice when I can finally find a movie that is uplifting and has a good happy ending.  It has helped remind me that the efforts we make, whether the world sees and rewards them or not–they all matter.  But my life’s works are so small in comparison.  I often feel discouraged and that my life isn’t making much impact or isn’t of much value.

No one is going to make a movie about me.  No one is gonna want to write my biography.  Probably no one will want to read an autobiography of my life if I ever get it written for my grandchildren.  Likely no one will really know the right things to say at my Memorial Service.  Most people won’t even have realized the little tasks I’ve done in life.  Perhaps nobody understands or knows of the things I do.  I realize many people don’t like me or understand me.  I am just a little person.   But it doesn’t matter.  God sees every detail of my life.  He understands my unique circumstances because He is the one who has ordained them and filtered them into my life through His wise and powerful hands.

God is keeping track of every good thing I have ever done for Him by His grace.  God has seen my sorrows and my perseverance under my hardships of life.  God knows my heart and my desires like no human ever could.  God understands how sad and disappointing I have found this life, despite my many blessings, because of the deep longing He has put into my heart for the perfection I will know in eternity with Him.  God knows all about my struggle to feel joy instead of sorrow, and to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  God knows how hard it is to fight through mood swings and depression.  God understands the terrible burden on my heart for everyone I know and love to know God personally through Jesus.  God has seen and recorded the minor persecution I sometimes bear because people don’t want to hear the gospel and get sick of my often talking about God and the Bible.

God knows all my sin and failures have been repented of daily and that they are covered by the blood of Jesus.  God knows I have sought Him while He could be found, and that I have desired to be faithful.  Jesus Himself is personally interceding for me every day and has promised to finish the good work that God has begun in me.  God will help me finish my life well, no matter how sick I get or how bad it gets.  God will say to me, by His grace, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.”

Someday, I will fully know others and be fully known.  It’s hard to know what that really means, but I believe God will make sure everyone knows and understands about my perseverance and overcoming done by His grace. I will be vindicated before both fellow believers who have misunderstood and misjudged me and the unbelievers who have mocked me.  I believe I will literally walk the new earth with the physical Jesus Christ and I will somehow have access to my Father who is spirit in the New Jerusalem (though I don’t understand how all that will work).  I will shine like the sun as I see God’s glory face to face and reflect His glory.  Father God and Jesus will dwell with me and all believers forever.  I’m not sure how the Holy Spirit fits into eternity—whether believers remain indwelled by the Spirit, or how that works, but I know that I will have all of Triune God and I will have forever to keep knowing and enjoy Him more.

God will explain to others in eternity who I really am, and finally I will be fully understood.  I will likewise fully understand other people who were instrumental in my life.  The fellowship level in eternity on the new earth will finally, fully satisfy the great desire I have for true fellowship, the kind of fellowship that I can’t really find on this earth.  I will never again be accused of “oversharing” in eternity.  Believers will have forever to share and recount their stories of bringing glory to God by grace.

All the good things I have been able to do by God’s grace will be celebrated, rewarded, and will bring great honor and glory to God, which will be the best joy ever.  Even if I can’t now see any fruit or success in any of my efforts for God, my efforts by grace still matter.  It is possible that there is fruit being realized that I cannot yet see this side of eternity.  Though I am not a genius mathematician that can help save NASA against all odds, nor a great Bible teacher or evangelist, God is watching me and He has ordained my little life.  He will be my rewarder.  It is enough.  It is more than enough.  God, please help me to remember this during my down times.