God knows.

So I’m trying to write and journal a bit more than usual this December. A dear friend/mentor of mine is encouraging me to do so. I have been gradually decorating my home for Christmas. Little by little. I have a pretty large home with spacious rooms and high ceilings. I could do so much more than what I do. But over the years, little by little, my husband and I collected Christmas decor and I am content with what we have. Because putting up a large tree is more than I can handle physically–especially getting a fresh one cut–and since my husband really does not enjoy tree getting, nor decorating, I’ve decided to just use several small trees throughout my home instead of one large one. This year I have five trees, having given away two smaller trees last year. I have my snowman collection. I have some snow globes. I have a lot of small candles and nick-knacks. Oh and I almost forgot our army of nutcrackers. Thanks to the help of two wonderful nieces, all my trees are decorated and decorations are done. I have to say, I am really enjoying them this year. I love Christmas lights on the trees especially, and I treasure each and every ornament we’ve collected over the years. A couple homemade items from my granddaughters are wonderful. Some of my favorite items are from my first Christmas with my husband, December of 1978. We were so poor our first few years together, but rich in love. One paper snowman with a honeycomb like paper body has lasted through the years. One cheapo plastic nutcracker ornament is also a favorite. I can still remember standing in Rite Aid near Lloyd Center (or whatever it was called back then), trying to decide which cheapo ornaments we liked and could afford. Little plastic nutcracker has lasted all these years as well as our marriage. God is good.

I typically create a couple Christmas boards in my kitchen and did so again this year. I cover one wall art picture with Christmas wrap, then add some Bible verses about Christmas and Christmas cards. The bulletin board in my kitchen that I like to decorate seasonally throughout the year also gets decorated with Christmas wrap in the background, cards, and some of my smaller fabric wall hangings that were made by my sister-in-law. All these things make me very happy. I am learning to look at all the hard work, heavy boxes, trips up and down the stairs and all the way to my basement storage room not as a negative, but as a positive way to get some exercise and create beauty and Christmas ambience in my home for my husband and me, and for all who will visit and gather with us. Most important, I decorate everything for Jesus my Savior, and I think He likes my decorating too. Maybe I will go to the effort to insert some photos of my decor here in this post, but probably not to be honest. I will probably post some photos on Facebook.

I’m debating whether to spend the money and get one tall, skinny tree for my living room as it really would be nicer to have a tall tree there. Is it worth it at this season of life? How many more Christmases do I have left I wonder. Can I handle the physical labor involved? Probably not. We shall see if an after Christmas sale opportunity arises. I’m praying about it. What do you think?

One mystery has arisen this year. You know how sometimes you put something important in a new place so you won’t lose it and can find it easily? Well, last year (I think….) I put my two favorite Christmas tree skirts SOMEPLACE so I could access them easier. They are not in any of my Christmas boxes. I can’t for the life of me figure out where I would have put them. I don’t think I would have given them away to anyone because they are really precious to me. I don’t really need them this year anyway, as I’m only using one tree skirt on my little tree I put in the kitchen this year, and I have my third choice tree skirt on it. But it would be nice to find them again. God knows where they are. God will help me find them when or if I need them again. I might do a complete clean up and reorganizing of my hall linen/pantry closet (a daunting task) and see if I hid them in there somewhere. That closet is in serious need of attention anyway.

Well I hope you’ve enjoyed reading some of my tales of Christmas preparation or at least tolerated it. I am wishing and praying for all God’s best for all my loved ones and readers. I know many people are going through unbelievably hard things. I care and I do pray for you. I appreciate your prayers for me. I am doing much better than usual at handling the darkness and cold of winter and looking on Christmas duties and tasks as an opportunity for joyful service instead of an irritating negative. I pray for us all in this–to be enabled to truly worship Jesus Christ in everything we think, say and do this Christmas and always.

Edit 1/1/2023: I found my two missing tree skirts. As I was putting Christmas decorations away, which I did right after Christmas this year, I remembered that I had put them into the box that I use as a tree stand for my small tree that I put in my kitchen nook area. They were there. This year I put all three of my tree skirts there, so hopefully I will remember next November after Thanksgiving when I get all my decorations out again. If I do it again next year.

I did really well on persevering and staying positive until Christmas this year. Then I was disappointed by how Christmas went again, because my expectations remain too high and unrealistic, and I had to deal with some depression and anger once again. I was struck with about five triggers at once on Christmas week and I succumbed to them. I wish I could be stronger and better in Christ. I remain so forever grateful for God’s patience, understanding, and continual forgiveness of all my sins.

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